entry 1059

name: Soul of the Dragoness

url: http://f4sakndauter.diaryland.com

message:

I have been thinking about what to have you answer....and I have yet to come up with something great and awesome....something that would match your yourself....lol...but anyway....I was thinking....um...*tries to remember what she was thinking*......what kind of things make you nervous....what can you absolutely not stand in other people.....what kind of poeple do u just fall in love with...even if you try not to. what hurts you the most. what would it read like if you were to write some real poetry from in deep....that is all. *nods*

date: 10:21 pm - Saturday,November 16, 2002

Ok there are a few questions in this one so here we go

1. What kinds of things make me nervous?

Well this may sound funny and even a bit strange, but I still get nervous the first day of every semester. I go into my classes every semester for the first class meeting and I have butterflies in my stomach. I am so completely nervous that I think I could go and throw up � but I have to be there to talk. Once I get started it�s not so bad � I know that public speaking is something that makes many people nervous and I do that for part of my income and to teach you have to stand up there in front of a group of people and talk. That still makes me nervous.

2. What can I absolutely not stand in other people

Well there are two things that I can not stand in other people. The first one is anyone who has to be right all the time regardless of the situation. If a person is unwilling to accept the fact that they are wrong occasionally this will absolutely drive me nuts. There is a person here at work that is like that. He will absolutely never ever admit to being wrong � he will blame others for anything that goes wrong even in the face of facts that prove this person wrong he will not admit it. I know someone else like that too but I don�t live with her anymore � oddly enough these two people have the same birthday � coincidence? Or are mean people just born on the same day of the year?

The Second thing that I can�t stand in others is being closed minded about things � not just prejudice because everyone is about something even not liking things about people is a prejudice. We are creatures of perception so we assume a lot about people based on a variety of things �

How they talk,

Dress,

Walk,

Act,

Look, etc.

I think it is great for people to hold on to beliefs and convictions however to be unyielding in the acceptance that someone else may not hold the same ideas and values as true drives me nuts. I think for anyone to say because you believe something and then to say the other person is completely wrong because they think something different is unacceptable. However, I can accept the fact that you don�t agree with or even like a person because they think or practice differently.

Just keep your mouth shut. I don�t go around trying to convince others that what I believe is the absolute truth �even though it is ;) Well that�s why I have a rule to try not to talk religion and politics with people � there generally isn�t a good end to those conversations unless the person already agrees with you. So you can hold true to your heart all that you want � let me do the same and where our paths cross great and where they diverge try to give each other space

3. What kind of people do I just fall in love with...even if you try not too?

Hmmm, Well I think the wrong people for me � I absolutely fall in love with egotistical girls � I know, I know, I like a strong willed person someone with a mind however there are people who balance confidence and ego � I just happen to fall for the ones who can�t be wrong, and are closed minded

The things I can�t stand draw me in like a moth to a flame. Like the moth I generally get burned. But do I learn� no. But in all fairness, or at least to justify it to myself, they do try to hide it well at first then the next thing I know I�m drawn to the person despite the destruction it causes to myself. I know it has to do with a volatile childhood and always being told I wasn�t this thing or that thing � I�m learning though � Well I hope I am - I�ll let you know

4. What hurts me the most

Physical pain doesn�t hurt � Well it does but it goes away mostly

Emotions hurt � to have feelings hurts � that is where the greatest sorrow is born � that is the kind of pain people have tried for thousands of years to find a cure � One thing every society has had is a form of intoxicant � why because of emotional hurt. How do you put a bandage on a broken heart or an unkind word � well there are a lot of ways but what is one of the easiest � getting drunk, high, stoned etc.

So having a heart and the courage to care hurts especially when you are dumb enough to wear your heart on your sleeve like me. Let people know what you care about and they can always hurt you. But to live in solace and to hide your heart is far lonelier.

5. What would it read like if you were to write some real poetry from in deep.

I have a poem that I wrote and I have been looking for it since you wrote this in my g-book � I haven�t found it but I�ll keep looking

I don�t want to try and write it from memory because I know I will get some of it wrong � but I will find it sometime soon and put it up and then I�ll let it know � It is one of those hopeless romantic things wearing my heart on my sleeve things � so my poems are either hopeless romantic things, or sarcastic things about society � a sarcastic one I wrote is called �I want to be a capitalist pig too.� I also write things from perspectives of various roles I�ve held in my life not always a the popular or widely held views of those roles �

one of my favorite poems that is written from the inside the perspective of a role is by S. Sasson (no not the hair guy) I forget the title but I remember most of the images. The poem ends with the line asking why soldiers believe the old lie �DULCE ET DECORUM EST PRO PATRIA MORAE�

The spelling is most likely off but the line is Latin and it means �It is sweet and honorable to die for your country�

Ok I am off to get some things done because I�m at work and I�m being bad

Play nice in the neighborhood and if you are in the US have a Happy Thanksgiving and if you aren�t Hey have a great day today and tomorrow I�ll be working so it will be like I�m not in the US anyway.

Ciao

Listening to: Z101

Wearing: The work clothes

Drinking: Coffee

Eating: nothing

The Invisible Army

Current Invisible Army Mission: November 2002

Other Invisible Army Missions

October 2002

Write me: Don, PO Box 4425, Roanoke, VA 24015

IM me: invisibledon on MSN, invisible980 on AIM

E-mail: [email protected]

Ok here is a consolidated list of the November missions that I have completed to date or more to the point today

Minion amalthea23

Bisa

Countess Helena

Minion Aroha

Minion Lapisllong

Spy and Assassin

Madrussianme