Charlie Alpha Tango Sierra... it does make sense
2009-07-25 - 11:15 a.m.

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The two animal room-mates I have are completely different. I did not pick either of the animals. They live with me though and I remain their favorite Bi-pedal mammal in their Quadra-pedal world.

Yes like all pets they think they own your home. Before you poosha my statement, Let us think about this for a minute.

(thinking pose- hand on chin, staring into the air on the left side, lips pursed)

You clean up their defecate, feed them daily, they make no money, you entertain them on their demand, if they donít want to be bothered with you at the moment you canít find them, they can keep you up with their antics and I could go on but I feel Iíve made my point. From their perspective you work for them.

They are the master and you are the worker bee.

Little do they know while I love them as pets that is what they are they are animals. They are lower on the food chain, they are lower on the evolutionary scale, while they are unique in the behaviors they do not have human characteristics, but Iím going to talk about them like they do. Iím going to call them roommates when they really are not. Now if you are a pet owner, I know PETA and other animal rights groups say the is a demeaning term, Ö ok I lost that point but found that new one, about pet owner being demeaning.

To whom is it demeaning? My cats, the last time I checked they donít speak English. They donít speak any human dialect for that matter. Itís a term some humans have said is demeaning when used to describe animals who live with humans to other humans who have placed animals on a rung equal to or higher than humans. Iím not one of those people. I treat my pets well and I give them a decent amount of my attention. They deserve not to be treated badly by me or other people but they arenít human. That is enough they are pets.

So with that if you hate me for anything I have said so far well stand in line you arenít the only one who hates me. Well you donít get to be king of the bastards by not stepping on toes. All hail the king. I have bumper stickers that proclaim my regal status Ö do you?

Yup thatís what I thought

Back to the cats.

My cats are Mouse and Wilson. Doodle brought Mouse home. Saying, Daddy, I found this kitten on the street, she was all alone and needs a home can we keep her. (insert sad pouted lip child face) I knew this was a lie then because I looked in the cats ears which were clean. Cats that arenít even just sort of taken care of have dirty ears. However I decided to pretend to believe the lie and say yes we can keep the kitten. Yeah Iím that dad on some things.

Mouse has remained pretty small and is bi-polar. Well not really but I say she is because she does the run to where you are when you come home and does the love me love me dance near your feet.

Love me love me. (figure 8 walking and rubbing on things)

When any one reaches for her she runs off

Donít love me

And then she comes back

Love me, love me


Donít love me


With that however, Mouse will usually be where she can see you but you canít see her. Unless the beta unit is here and she hides because the beta unit brings itís dog which tries to kill Mouse. No seriously.

Her dog bites Mouse around the neck and you have to pull it off of the cat.. That isnít saying hey lets be friends and play. That is saying Iím going to kill you if they bi-peds would only give me the chance.

Wilson is a recent addition. A gift if you will which was the result of, Hey Iím moving and I canít take this cat with me will you take him. (insert batting eyes and pouted lip)

The story is more complicated than that but Iíll just leave it at this and I said yes. Yes Wilson belonged to a woman before me.

Wilson is cool, with that Mouse is cool too despite her bi-polar thing.

Wilson is a watcher cat though. Unless he is sleeping, he has to be within 5 feet of the action.

For example, he sits in a chair in my kitchen while I cook. Seriously, right up in the chair right in the middle and watches. I think part of this is his nature and most domesticated animals that food may result from and in the act of being close to the humans. The also think that if I look cute a lot too and that will help in the getting of the food.

As I donít eat the meat things he doesnít like what I eat mostly and Iím not one to feed the pets human food.

Wilson watches in amazement in the kitchen though. I imagine his thoughts are wow this stuff actually has uses. Iíve lived in a couple other places and no one used this stuff. It just was there, who knew you can get food from using the stuff in a kitchen. Yes his previous owner is not a person who cooks often. In fairness she is not the only person here who doesnít cook. If you are a woman from Roanoke or the surrounding area and not a transplant from somewhere else and live here now, you donít cook. Itís not that women from here canít cook they just donít.

Iím not sure why, but if you meet a woman who says she is from Roanoke she isnít going to cook. As a result Roanoke has more restaurants per capita than any other city in Virginia. It also has the highest divorce rate in the state too. Iím not sure the two things are related, they could be though.

Back to the cats and away from broad generalizations.

So I have the two cats. Which Iím not sure how Wilson will handle the beta units dog. They havenít met and Wilson is much bigger than Mouse. Like over twice the size and he is not a fat cat. Mouse is just that small. Why do you think we named her Mouse. Well yes itís ironic too.

Iím also not really sure Mouse is actually a cat. She doesnít do normal cat things most of the time and while she looks like a cat she doesnít really look like a cat. I think she might be an alie-um kitty. (yes Ay-lee -UM for alien)

I did have two dogs who have been missing and I think were stolen.

So it was definitely different stuff, maybe it was better stuff.

Have a great day and play nice in the neighborhood.


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